I’ve been fairly quiet on the socials.
Lately, people have been asking me “Where have you been?”
Well, here goes.
A few months ago, I felt this strong need for a change. I had just completed an amazing project, should have been on cloud nine, but wasn’t feeling myself. Things just weren’t aligning the way I’d hoped. And then one day the stars aligned and it was time. It was time to move on onto other opportunities.
But before I did that I was going take a break. To regroup, travel, and just ‘be’ for the first time in a very long time. On World Mental Health Day of last year, I made the big decision to leave the company I helped grow for nearly 14 years. It was tough, yet it felt like the right choice, as something bigger was calling me.
One short week into my break, I found out an estranged family member was suffering silently from dementia and was in the hospital for a very long time due to an illness. Over two hours away, with no family around her, she was completely alone.
As a designer, I’m a fixer by nature. I solve problems. I commit wholeheartedly and when I dive into something, you get me 100%. I was quietly taking a break because had a few amazing opportunities brewing and wanted to give them my all when I was ready. But something kept calling me. I looked for signs, asking the universe if stepping into a caregiver role was what I should do at this stage in my life, even though it was all new to me. I had so many other things just behind the curtain. But the signs clearly pointed me in that direction.
So, I jumped in headfirst. It was my new full-time job. I had no idea how hard this was going to be on me. My body and mind freaked out—I was stressed, breaking out in hives, my eyes twitching, not sleeping—but I kept going. My new normal turned into long commutes every other day to be there for her in the hospital. To build up her strength, her recognition. To regain her trust. To just be there, advocating for her when she didn’t have anyone. And then ultimately, helping transition her into a new chapter filled with community and connection.
Two weeks ago was a big milestone. After months of research and visits, I finally moved her out of the hospital and into her new home. An assisted living facility that is 15 min from me and very close to our other family members.
Her dementia is advanced, so she doesn’t recognize much. The day I moved her in, what she did recognize meant everything to me. She noticed her grandmother’s (my great grandmother’s) furniture that we moved from her old home to the new. She noticed the natural light of the huge windows outlooking a vast hillside, reminiscent of her home in the Berkshires, she even spotted deer in the woods! And she noticed her art. She was an accomplished painter. I gathered years of her own as well as the other interesting pieces I found in her home. I didn’t realize how much I needed her to sense these things; just as much as she did.
The road is just beginning, but it has been a gift. As we reconnect through old stories and photos, or talking about a piece of the art that now surrounds her again, I feel a strong sense of connection and belonging. And hopefully are on a path of healing for her. My tribe has all become stronger because of this experience as well. My children, my husband, my mom, cousins and my sister. And my friends and those around me who rose their hands to help in any way possible. We are all coming together in ways I couldn’t imagine.
The other morning after a particularly hard evening with her, I realized something. My ikigai, and even my email signature is ‘Creating environments where you belong.’ (Thank you to my amazing mentors Julie Zadow and Dr. Patti Fletcher for helping me craft that years ago). Environments truly can change everything if we pay attention to the little details.
I’m not sharing this for my own recognition but to highlight how much environments matter. As I continue on this journey and my own next chapters, I’m excited for the many amazing opportunities ahead. This time has afforded me much needed family time and reflection. I am balancing the professional life and personal life and spending time connecting with people who matter. Who inspire me, and keep my passions fueled (will share more in that soon too). I plan to be back on the socials more regularly and more passionate than ever about bringing amazing environments to life for the world.